Ask Pastor Jim
These are ordered from oldest to newest e-mails sent to Pastor Jim
Note: All E-Mails are 100% Authentic, so send one in and I will respond within a day or two!
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Date: 12/17/2005 23:50:12 -0800From: Stephen Robert Honorio <bob_biohazard@yahoo.com>
To: Pastor Jim N/A <pastorjim@truechristian.com>
Subject: Hello again!
The email I just sent you previously isn't
something like the ones you considered as 'hate mails'. I even forgot to
include to tell you, that I loved your site in terms of your teachings. Keep up
the good work!
P.S.
And another thing...could you please make your criticisms 'less-insultive' and
'less-harsh'.
God bless! More power!
STEPHEN ROBERT HONORIO
BACOOR, CAVITE, PHILIPPINES
Hrmm.... thanks.
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Date: 12/18/2005 00:27:17 -0600
From: "kip podiluk" <davey101_4@hotmail.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: N/A
holy shit you must be fucking stupid i cant belive you i cant
believe that
you actually think those things i am an aithiest i smoke pot and like to
have sex with lots of women while using a condem and i mastergate at least
once a day im half asian and you know what i have alot of friends who are
gay you are the one who is going to rot in hell if it existed so one last
thing
FUCK YOU
please email me back you mother fucker
Spell checker..
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Date: 12/18/2005 02:32:47 -0800
From: darius@milkhair.com
Reply-to: darius@milkhair.com
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: your website
Is this website real or is this just one of the funniest jokes. If this is
a joke then I admire how much work you put into it.
I am funny, aren't I? Thank you.
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Date: 12/18/2005 20:12:38 -0600
From: "Cody Klimmer" <doomed_x_generation@hotmail.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Hello
You're a hypocritical bigot. Your section about atheists is full
of
fallacies and misconceptions. How about you open up your mind for once and
actually read up on atheists. I don't hate christians but I hate
fundamentalists such as yourself :) You're closed-minded, ignorant, arrogant
and afraid of stuff you don't understand so you go around masquerading
fallacies. Jesus would be ashamed of your Unchrstian behavior. :)
Your loving athest,
Cody
You will go to Hell atheist scum!
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Date: 12/20/2005 17:27:19
-0500
From: kpound21@aol.com
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
CC: KPound21@aol.co*
Subject: thank you
my name is kyle and i wanted to
let you know that you are the greatest
man alive...i have not laughed that hard in quite some time...i had to
thank you to give me something else to use the internet for other than
porn...keep on spreading the good word.
P.S. I'm sure there are many grammatical errors in what i just wrote
and i would go back and look for them but as much as i love the site i
am still a very lazy person...sorry if it is an incunveiencseiss
I appreciate your comment. It really means a lot to me!
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Date: 12/20/2005 17:49:50
-0500
From: ufoboy45@aol.co*
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: your web site
I love this site! It's so
hilarious. I can't believe how many people
don't understand the satire of it.
People think they can know the Bible
without reading it, magically.
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Date: 12/20/2005 20:26:51
-0800
From: Kim <meandmypink@yahoo.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: earth's age
Dear Pastor Jim Nichols,
I am currently researching Christian Science, and would greatly value your
analysis of something.
I have my own copy of the King James Version of the Holy Bible, and have
thoroughly read through
the first two chapters of the book of Genesis, containing what is commonly
referred to as the “two
creation stories” (as well as a few chapters beyond). Your faith in the second
creation story is
noted by your references to Adam and Eve, who are bound to the second story.
Your faith in the
first creation story is also evident in your reference to the first chapter of
Genesis in your
response to the question, “How old is the Earth and how do you know?” in your “F.A.Q.”
section.
That is precisely the topic on which I’d like to ask your analysis.
You claim the earth is roughly 9,000 to 10,000 years old, and that you reached
that number by
calculating biblical lineage. Never in my examination of the KJV have I ever
found any given
inclination as to the exact time frame between the creation of the first humans
mention in Genesis
1:27, and Adam and Eve. After the seventh day of the first creation, the Holy
Bible simply
continues in order of events, with no reference to the time frame between the
end of the seventh
day and the creation of (presumably) the first people of measurable lineage
(Adam and Eve). Later,
in Genesis 4:16-17, it explains that Cain left Eden and went eastward to the
land of Nod, where he
found a wife. Given that Adam and Eve had not yet had any other children (with
the exception of
Abel, whom Cain murdered before he left), Cain’s wife must have been one of the
people created in
the first creation, or at least of their lineage. There is, however, no way to
tell how long the
people from the first creation had inhabited the earth before Adam and Eve were
created, as far as
I can see. Have you found a way to determine the time between the first creation
of people, and
the creation of Adam and Eve? And have you included this in your estimation of
the earth’s age?
Respectfully,
Kim
Cain's wife was actually one of his sisters. Stop asking so many questions since there are NO HOLES IN THE BIBLE!
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Date: 12/22/2005 20:54:00
-0800
From: "Kaylie Rea" <kaylierea@hotmail.co*>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Another Question
ate: 10/08/2005 10:14:52 -0700
From: "Kaylie Rea" <kaylierea@hotmail.co*>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Question
Quote:
Do you watch the Daily Show? What do you think of Jon Stewart?
I'm honestly watching it as I'm writing this e-mail. Jon Stewart is the greatest person on Earth.
____________________________________________________________________________
Are you offended that Jon Stewart is pro-choice and for gay marriage?
You obviously don't have any idea what I'm doing.
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Date: 12/23/2005 01:01:24
-0800
From: "Jackie" <ivan650@cox.net>
To: <PastorJim@truechristian.com>
Subject: question
After going through pretty much
all of your site I have to honestly say I
wish I had never come across this website. If you as a pastor believe in
what you have written on your site then I fell sorry for you. I have been
reading the bible for the first time and I would really like it if you could
give me some scriptures to read that state what you have written about is
true. I am completely confused that you would spend so much energy and time
on writing about masterbation????? There is so much other crimes and hate
going on out in our world today yet you have a site dedicated to what people
do in the privacy of there own homes? Yes I can see where you might be
right in regards to rapists and sexual preditors and what got them started
and how masterbation could lead up to something criminal and henious but is
there not other things that you could write about. I was brought up that
sex and sexual pleasure was a wonderful thing and that what went on between
two consenting adults was something special as long as it was agreeable
between both people. Your article makes intamcay out to be something dark,
dirty and unexceptable. I'm interested to hear your take on homosexuals and
lesbians. Your e-mail states you are a pastor...of a church or
congregation? Do you speak out in a ward, do you have your own
congregation??? If so do you talk to your fellow man about the topics I
have just read upon or is this an online only type of thing?
"I have been
reading the bible for the first time and I would really like it if you could
give me some scriptures to read that state what you have written about is
true."
I include Bible verses with my Bible statements. Look throughout the pages I make my statements.
" Do you
speak out in a ward, do you have your own
congregation???"
They are always rolling back the prices here.
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Date: 12/24/2005 04:29:15
-0330
From: "danielj@nf.sympatico.c*" <danielj@nf.sympatico.c*>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: I love you.
I love you. Your site is amazing. Good job!
Thanks!!
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From: Rachel <anti_liberal_conspiracy@yahoo.co*>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Your site
Although I got a good laugh out of this, I still wasn't sure if this was meant to be a joke or not. If it was, then good job, it was funny. If not, there are some massive grammatical and spelling errors and as well, it's impossible to get your view across when you make claims about what Muslims are made out of... feces. If you want it to be a legit site, I think it could work, it just needs some tweaking.
Thanks!
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Date: 12/25/2005 22:07:31 ESTFrom: KingWong12345@aol.com
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Hi this is Felix from Korean Community Church
Hi Pastor
Jim. I was just surfing the web and came upon to your
website. I saw a section of your website that quote, " A true Christian knows
Christmas isn't Jesus birthday." Most Christians believe that Christmas day is
Jesus birthday so therefore the sentence that I quote above really got me to
think
if this Christian religion is real or just a hoax. Please email back to me
explaining in details about the birth of Jesus. Thank you very much Pastor Jim.
sincerely,
Felix
My point shows that most Christians don't even know what it is that they really believe. If people knew what they believed, they wouldn't believe it anymore, most likely.
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Date: 12/26/2005 18:32:09 -0300
From: Daniel Moreira Auto <dauto@fisica.ufc.br>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: N/A
I have to take my hat off for you, since you managed to draw hate-mail from
both Atheists Christians. I'm a little surprised that so many people didn't
realize your site is a parody though.
(You left so many clues all around the site)
I guess they were not reading it critically... (just like the bible)
Dan.
I like your analogy with how they don't read my site and how they don't read the Bible. If they opened the Bible, I think they would be equally as offended since all I'm doing is pointing out what's in the Bible.
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Date: 12/27/2005 13:17:38 -0400From: michael white <bpcmike@gmail.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: question
i noticed in your religious section that you have not
added a section on
jews, what are your views??
Christians are real Jews and what we call "Jews" are false Jews. There was/is a split when Jews were split on whether Jesus was Lord and Savior or not.
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Date: 12/29/2005 16:38:29 -0500From: "Scott, Kirsten" <Kirsten.Scott@Staples.co*>
To: "'PastorJim@truechristian.com'" <PastorJim@truechristian.com>
Subject: Quick question
Hi. I stumbled upon your website and am
curious- is it a joke? I mean, is
it made to poke fun at how ABSURD people are? I am not trying to offend you
or be rude- but "Conforming is Fun" ?! Praying with the girl on her knees
with Jesus saying, "mmmm good that's the position I like". Either you are
totally insane or your site is HILARIOUS and I applaud you for getting
people all riled up. Either way, job well done.
-K
I love a good joke.
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Date: 12/29/2005 16:58:41 -0600
From: Ben Anglin <ben@stisigns.co*>
To: <PastorJim@truechristian.com>
Subject: Oh, man!
This is so over the top, my sides ache from laughing.
I love to see people get bent out of shape over something like a website
they don't agree with. It's the same as tv... Don't like it? Turn it off.
I'm a catholic, and this didn't bother me at all.
Since we're no longer afforded freedom of religion in this PC-assed society,
freedom of speech becomes paramount.
I live in Austin,Texas which has a reputation similar to San Francisco
regarding homosexuality and liberalism, but I'm going email your site to my
friends, and see who goes postal.
Great stuff, pastor.
I'm glad you're open minded. Thanks for the comment.
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Date: 12/30/2005 22:11:23 +0200
From: "Nikola Moutsiou" <valosuperstar16@hotmail.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: i love god and i thank you for ...
LOVE THE DEVIL!!!!! I WORSHIP SATAN!!!!! HAIL SATAN HAIL
SATAN!!!! FUCK
GOD FUCK HEAVEN I AM A LESBIAN!!! I HAVE GAY SEX!!!!! GOD IS A QUEER LOVING
FAG FAG FAG FAG FAG!!! GOD IS A FAGGOT, PETAPHILE LOVING FAGGOT! KID HUMPING
FAGGOT, 8 YEAR OLD KISSING FAGGOT! GOD SPILLS HIS SPERM IN A 4 YEAR OLDS
MOUTH! GOD AND MICHEAL JACKSON SHOULD DATE!!! FUCK YOUR RELIGON BULLSHIT!!!
HAHAHAHA! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN!!! FUCKING CUT YOU WHEN I SEE YOU GOD! GOD
IS GAY FAG LOVING BITCH CUNT WHORE NIGGER SLUT COCK ASSHOLE PRICK NUT-SUCKER
EMO WRIST CUTTING BITCH!!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA"!!!! BURY YOU WITH
SATAN DEATH IS YOUR FUTURE BURY YOU WITH SATAN!!! FUCK GOD!
You nutty Greeks.
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Date: 12/30/2005 21:54:56 -0800From: Amelia Holloway <spiffychick1987@yahoo.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Go Pastor Jim!
Dear Sir,
I stumbled upon your website, True Christian, whilst googling something wholly
and totally unrelated to religion. I found it very entertaining and
informational. Your take on Christianity makes far more sense than the views
introduced to me by many “Christian” acquaintances, and your responses to your
hate mail is—in a word—hilarious.
I especially enjoyed your acknowledgement that Catholicism is really paganism
painted in Christian colors. As a minor in the studies of world religions (it’s
such a bloody useless degree in today’s consumerist culture) it’s refreshing to
know that there are people out there willing to make distinctions between the
myriad sects of both “Christianity” and other world religions.
Seeing as I am not a Christian, I will probably (if there is any truth in
ANYONES beliefs) burn in hell for the rest of existence. I have accepted this.
But before I go, I just wanted to give you a pat on the back for a
well-researched and very purple website. It was a wonderful way to spend an
hour.
Sincerely,
A Random Fan
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the comment!
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Date: 12/31/2005 07:08:09 -0800From: Jordan Johnson <b0dybu1ld3r@sbcglobal.net>
To: pastorjim@truechristian.com
Subject: Elisha
Your rendition of Elisha and the "children" from
Bethel is one that is commonly misinterpreted. Well basically, I checked this
out a few years ago when I was somewhat suprised to read it.
Here's how I see it. "Go up" was telling him to leave, because they did not
sympathize with this man of God. They also mocked him which is generally not
something which an "innocent" child would do.
Naar was the hebrew term used for the children, yet it could mean anywhere up
to 50 years old or so. (naar = child-old man) So really, he could have cursed a
group of men that were telling him to get away.
- Jordan
How does that contradict my website?
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Date: 12/31/2005 17:58:05
+0000
From: "catherine R" <catherine_rules_the_world@hotmail.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Talking about your view of Atheists
I believe out of all the groups of people you sighted on your website i am probably closest to Atheist so would therefore like to discuss/argue against, i suppose, some of your points. Please
note i am not, by writing this, trying to censor you, but simply give my views, just like you have.
Myth: Atheists have no belief in the Christian God or any of the false god of the other religions. It has nothing to do with hate.
Reality: Everyone including atheists know the Christian god, God is real. We know he is real since we call him God with a capital "G" -- that proves it right there. The more than 2,500 accounted for "gods" are all made up to attempt to draw Christians away from the one True god, God. All these non-Christians hate Christians, as well as God.
Why are any other gods trying to draw Christians from their personal god? Surely it is just what people themselves choose to believe, and only if a person starts preaching do they start to draw Christians away from their god? I do not understand how you can just state that easily that all non-Christians hate Christians. Two of my closest friends are Christians, whilst i am not. I listen to their views and do not try to deter them from them, whilst i may not agree with some of them, i do not hate them in the slightest!
Myth: Atheists are very socially conscious and strive for humans to live in peace.
Reality: Atheists are all anarchist who
hate everything and everyone. All atheists are out to forcibly remove God from
the world and take Him out of the History of His Earth.
I personally am not in any way an anarchist, and I think that this is applicable to all my non-Christian friends, aswell as Christian ones. I do want for humans to live in peace, whatever you may think.
Myth: On average atheists have higher IQs.
Reality: They are demons, meaning they are slaves to Satan. Since of this they don't think so thus have an IQ of 0.
I think the comprehensive way in which i have written this email should prove that atleast this one non-Christian is literate and therefore must have an IQ higher than 0.
Myth: Atheists are people to.
Reality: THEY ARE EVIL DEMONS! WRATHFUL AND HATEFUL NIGGER LOVERS!
Nigger Lover?! Where in the Bible does it say that those with coloured skin cannot be treated like humans to? Can not be treated with decency, and not be refered to like this!
Myth: Atheists believe in Logic and Reason.
Reality: Firstly, I don't like how atheists use those words. They capitalize Logic and Reason since that's the lies they worship. We use God and Truth since they are things we posses and we prove this by using capital letters. Atheists who do the same thing are mocking Christianity.
There is as much proof in the case of God as there is in Logic and Reason. Saying you prove the existance of God by using capital letters is just the same as any atheist saying they prove Logic and Reason by using capital letters.
I would like to end this by again stating i do not have a set state of beliefs, i simply felt the need to reply to rhis email. I would like to ask you to reply if you have time, and thankyou for reading.
You're an idiot. You agree with everything I say but cant see what I'm doing with the label game.
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