Psalm 94:16 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me. ---- Psalm 109:9 Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow. --- Hebrews 12:4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. --- John 1:18 No man hath seen God at any time, the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him. --- John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. --- Genesis 32:30 And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. --- John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. ---

Ask Pastor Jim

These are ordered from oldest to newest e-mails sent to Pastor Jim

Note: All E-Mails are 100% Authentic, so send one in and I  will respond within a day or two!

Ask Pastor Jim Nicholls Now!!

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You guys are a scream.  There's no way this isn't a spoof site.  Thanks for the laugh!

Misty Pilgrim, New Mexico

Sure.

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Date: 11/19/2005 17:14:01 +0000
From: "kathryn palmer" <hopelesshearts@hotmail.co.uk>
To: Pastorjim@truechristian.com
Subject: N/A

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Hello. I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but I had a question to ask you:
If there are any books that you would ban from the public, what would they
be, and why?
My teacher assigned a paper that requires us to argue either pro or con for
book burning.
I haven't found any information that I can cite in my paper. Having visited
your site a many times before, I thought that you would be the best person to
ask about banning literature that supports swearing and homosexuality and so on.
Any help you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your time.

Next question.

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Dear Pastor Jim,

You are brilliant. My friend, Katrina, and I love your ministry. We read the
Bible daily. It's about time someone said the things you say. And Hitler? He's
dead, why worry about it. Katrina would like to know if you are interested in
extra-marital relations. God bless you!!!!

-Rhonie B.

PS. Have you read John 12:12-32 lately? Wonderful passage!!

^,..^

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What is wrong with you people? I thought that "God" was supposed to love  
everyone one for who they are but here you are bringing those people down about  
being lesbian or worshiping Satan. If you were a real Christian then you  
wouldn't bring a person down like that they deserve just as much respect as you  
"think" you do! I am bisexual and I worship Satan so what get over it there are
far more many people in this world that are then you know! I  know many  
Christains that are either gay or bisexual and their Church welcomes them in  
like they are no different then anyone else. What you are doing on this website  
is worng and I personally hope that you go to hell for what you have done.  
Putting people's pictures on the internet so you and you friends can make fun of
them I think you did this to make yourself feel better but what are you
really  running from?

A bi-sexual Satanist telling me what is and isn't Christian.....

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Hello, I have a couple of questions for you

Why do you follow a jewish religion?

Why do you not realize that jesus was a jew and that christianity is  gay?

Most modern day christians are liberals, we both know that

Liberals=Christians

Hippies-Christians

Huh??

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Hello 'Pastor' Jim. I am a normal 16 year old kid with many issues, problems, conflicts, etc etc etc. In any case, your website was being used by a wiki group by the name 'Conformity, Inc.' on the website www.elfpack.com . Anyway, I decided to come and see this site because I am a polythiest. Not athiest, not mono, poly. Believe it or not, I started hating Christianity because of things that people like you tend to say. The message that people should tell Janie should turn away from Witchcraft and turn herself into the church for proper punishment. Do you realize how sickening that is? Do you even know what the Wiccan religion represents? No, it is NOT the worship of Satan or Lucifer, or Beelzebub or whatever ludicrous name you think up for him next. They have NO belief in the fallen angel whatsoever. In fact, it could be said that Wiccans are athiests with no real God. They worship nature, and they're spell are supposed to be empowering to humanity, not a lost cause. You know, in fact, it is people like you, the ones that have this curious belief that if peole don't believe rigidly what you believe, your fat little lawn gnome of a diety is going to send them to Hell for all eternity. Then, your hypocritical views of 'embrace and love your fellow man' followed by 'He's a Hindu, he shall burn in Hell' makes everyone really, REALLY dislike Christianty. Fascinating, isn't it? Your pushing too hard results in resistance to todays youth and it's masses. And the Pope was wondering why is such a low increase rate of Christians in todays world ^.^'. Ahhh, life. Sucks, doesn't it. But, because of your relgious arrogance and egotism, I have started several groups to combat Chistianities tyranny. First, I started The Soul Collectors Guild within my school. The belief is that if the person donates their soul to me or one of my group members, all of the 'sins' that they committed to date are theirs alone. BUT!, after the soul is give, all sins committed afterward are not held against that person as they have no soul and are not affected by the whims of Karma. Then, when they die, we ritually burn the soul documents to allow the spirit flow into the warm embrace of the Gods. Secondly, I started the Polythiest Resistance Group to preach against your hypocritacal bilge. Thusly, I have also contacted Janie and given her my full support to her choice to turn to Wiccan. I hope you feel happy making your Christian website come off sounding like a weird new fanatical cult that rivals the Muslim Jihad. Congratulations, and may the Gods have pity on your poor delusioned soul.

That's nice.

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Just as a follow-up on my last messae 'Pastor' Jim, If you wish to contact me, try going into www.elftown.com or www.elfpack.com and starting an account. Of course, since it is a place of roleplaying and fantasy (Yes, including the oh-so-evil MAGIC!), you may find it blasphemy to visit such places, much less start a house there so as to contact people and preach your false beliefs to deaf ears. It's okay, we've had lots of people like you there before, and they are usually shunned quickly. BUT! I will allow you the honor of know my Screen name (No, Jared isn't my real name...peh, humans...). My Screen name is Nekko Fox. Just type that into the Enter Username of either of the above websites and you will be taken to my house. I will be happy to answer your messages with the full extent of my knowledge and skill. Oh, and by the way, yes, Jesus was real. Yes, he WAS a prophet. No, he was not the son of God. That was decided by a Roman legislature and he was only named thusly by a slim margin. And, since it is a 'sin' to have sex before marriage, wouldn't Jesus be a sin against God as he was concieved before God and Mary were married? Consider that.






P.S. The bible? It was written by man. And man makes mistakes. God did not write the book himself and drop it into a mans hands in a glwing beam of light. It was written by people, so called 'personal accounts' of angels and whatnot. Think about that too.

Your own ignorance blinds you to the concept that I'm actually on your side.

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...

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 Just as a follow-up on my last messae 'Pastor' Jim, If you wish to contact me, try going into www.elftown.com or www.elfpack.com and starting an account. Of course, since it is a place of roleplaying and fantasy (Yes, including the oh-so-evil MAGIC!), you may find it blasphemy to visit such places, much less start a house there so as to contact people and preach your false beliefs to deaf ears. It's okay, we've had lots of people like you there before, and they are usually shunned quickly. BUT! I will allow you the honor of know my Screen name (No, Jared isn't my real name...peh, humans...). My Screen name is Nekko Fox. Just type that into the Enter Username of either of the above websites and you will be taken to my house. I will be happy to answer your messages with the full extent of my knowledge and skill. Oh, and by the way, yes, Jesus was real. Yes, he WAS a prophet. No, he was not the son of God. That was decided by a Roman legislature and he was only named thusly by a slim
margin. And, since it is a 'sin' to have sex before marriage, wouldn't Jesus be a sin against God as he was concieved before God and Mary were married? Consider that.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 P.S. The bible? It was written by man. And man makes mistakes. God did not write the book himself and drop it into a mans hands in a glwing beam of light. It was written by people, so called 'personal accounts' of angels and whatnot. Think about that too.

*Yawns*

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Is this a fake web-site? Do you hate christianity? The very existance of this site is enough to scare people off the idea that christianity might be for them. "Nigger loving"?, I don't believe this is an actual christian site. You've done this so people will read the crap you've got on here and form angry and uninformed opinions about stuff they have no clue about. Good going, man. You've really made the world a better place.

By the way, you have so many spelling errors it isn't funny.

It's as real as God.

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That's nice.

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Date: 11/27/2005 11:40:42 +0000
From: "Jon Seymour" <jonseymour@hotmail.co.uk>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: dinosaurs

Hello.

Dinosaurs exsisted millions of years ago. God isn't real, it was made up by
people who like to do evil things, then hope they are forgiven when they
die. The world we live in was made billions of years ago, not 6000 years ago
as you think.

Most christians are hypocrites, they preach on about how good they are and
how you should act, then go around raping children and having extra-marital
affairs.

Your just not thinking like an American.

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Dear Pastor Jim,

I have visited your site many times now and find it to be crude, lude, rude and offensive.  I love it!!!  The "Kidz Page" is great but I especially enjoy reading the "Hate" mail you receive.  I picture the people who write it as the same type of people who after watching the Three Stooges would say, "I don't get it."

What I think would really be great is if you could get an endorsement from Fred Phelps that would be awesome.

Keep up the good work.

Bill Roberts

Fred Phelps believes everyone in America besides his church is going to Hell since of the IED that bombed his church 10 years ago. Thanks though.

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Date: 11/27/2005 12:48:16 -1000
From: "Akito Chan" <dafluffylemon@hotmail.co*>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Ech?

I'd like to thank you on the behalf of every teenage idiot who needs the
bible simplified.

Yeah.

Personally, I always thought Catholics were a bit more prudent in their
teachings, but your Kidz page teaches me otherwise.

It never ceases to amaze me, how fucking dumb Christians /and/ atheists can
be. I mean, seriously. I'm thirteen and I got this stuff. That's ridiculous.


Extremely entertaining website! Please keep updating.

Hehe, thanks!

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Date: 11/27/2005 14:54:24 -0800
From: Marc Lechowicz <Timothy@cvhsa.co*>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: Beautiful site

I love your site, Pastor Jim.  Jonathan Swift would be proud.

Marc

Thank you!!

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Dear Satan worshipper,
 
 How many times a day do you masturbate?

Next question.

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Are you in line with Gal. 5:7?

Please explain what truth is,if you are.


Thank you,

David,

It's what I say since I said it.

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Date: 11/28/2005 14:25:30 -0800
From: John DC <john_in_dc@yahoo.com>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: site

Hilarious.
One of the funniest spoofs I have ever seen.  You
captured the absurdity of myth-suckers perfectly.  If
you have not already, check out bettybowers.com.  She
is less toungue-in-cheek than you, but still funny.
Thanks for the laugh.

Thanks, and yes I know of her.

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Hi my name is Jenny. I am confused by your website. Yes God tells us to not be tolerant of other religions, that Christianity is the gateway to heaven. I am a devout christian but what youare displaying in your website is crude and sickning. GOd also tells us to love our neighbors your site does not do that. You cant take bits and pieces of the bible you have to take the whole thing!! I am disspointed in your use of Rick warren. Rick Warren would not condoen your webiste either so there!!

Him and me have met several times in real life and he has already shut this site down before. Exposing his tax frauds displays his own hypocrisy.

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Date: 11/29/2005 18:15:14 +1100
From: "Katherine M" <qtcat18@hotmail.com>
To: pastorjim@truechristian.com
Subject: Take a guess

Dear Pastor Jim Nicholls,

I just want to say that you are the scurge of the Earth. Your website shows
a true disrespect towards all beliefs and cultures that are not "true
christian" or "american". I realise that you must get mail like this
everyday, but I thought I should just tell you my own opinion. I believe
there is nothing wrong with homosexuals, abortion is a choice that should be
available to all, the world is indeed round, pie does not equal 3, rape of
any form is bad and should be punished following the normal legal system,
George Bush is a dickhead, that men and women are equal, the wiggles are
educational, dictionary.com is a great website, Michael Moore is a HERO, gay
marriage should be accepted, masturbation is FANTASTIC!, people have the
right to their own religion if they do not impede on those of others, Santa
is a wonderful guy and if I wanted to shave my head I can. Now, I know that
saying this doesn't mean much to you, you're probably thinking stupid
atheist lesbian, but you know why I'm telling you my beliefs? BECAUSE I CAN!
People like you with your fanatic religions will never rule the world for to
99.9% of the population you're a sick fuck! You will spend countless
generations trying to get people to join you, but you will never achieve
world domination.
So, this is from a pro-homosexual, atheist, pro-choice, feminist masturbator
who is not afraid of your petty words.
I wonder how you sleep at night.
From,
Katherine

P.S. I suggest checking yourself into the nearest mental institution for a
psychological checkup. Not that I think you're nuts or anything (is sarcasm
against your rules as well?)

"I just want to say that you are the scurge of the Earth."

That sounds kinky!

"masturbation is FANTASTIC!"

Can you explain that in great detail?

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Date: 11/29/2005 00:42:43 -0800
From: Becker <usinghurley@yahoo.co*>
To: PastorJim@truechristian.com
Subject: love

I just have to say that I love your site.  I think
it's absolutely hilarious.  Also, i find it
aggravating that no one (well at least those who write
the emails) are aware of its true purpose.  It's
obvious that you write everything on your site to a
perfect degree of sarcasm and wit.  Why don't people
understand what your doing? The way that God is
portrayed in the kidz books, the one answer to every
complex question (God did it), and the one line of
creationist's perception of evolution compared to the
multiple pages of scientific fact you present -
they're all evidence.  Basically, I love the site, and
although no one else may be able to decipher its
"complicated" message - rest assure that I DO. So
sleep easy knowing you have humored at least one aware
individual.
nick

"Why don't people understand what your doing?"

The same reason people vote Republican and think they know more than scientists.

"So sleep easy knowing you have humored at least one aware individual."

I will! Thanks!

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I feel so sorry for you that you would have to get your kicks by putting
others down and entertaining yourself with this sick joke you call a
website. I would like everyone that is reading this to know that none of
what you say is scriptureally sound. If it was you would have an actual
argument instead of pointing out people's spelling mistakes like that
somehow proves they are wrong. I don't know whether you actually believe
what you're saying or if you think you are making fun of Christians. Here
this now: That is not how real christians believe. Making a website that
taunts groups of people and calling it "true christian" does not save
you. Hide behind your cynicism all you want but the bible will speak for
itself.

"for the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfullness and self-control" Galatians 5:22

You sir have shown none of these characteristcs. Is your site kind? Is it
uplifting? Does it further God's kingdom? No. Then it is not "true
Christian"

"I would like everyone that is reading this to know that none of
what you say is scriptureally sound."

Can you prove that with the proper scripture?

"That is not how real christians believe."

Are you a professional theologian?

"No."

Yes.

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Hello Pastor Jim,

I do not hate you at all. It is obvious that you really believe your version
of the gospel. The truth is I pity you. The Word of God says that he who
does not have the Spirit of Christ is none of His. In all you are saying and
doing I do not believe that the Spirit of God is behind it. I know my Bible
(probably better than you) and I can tell you that God is Holy and that He
requires holiness, but what you are propagating is very twisted and does not
represent His love and mercy or His righteousness, justice and judgment.
Before you meet Him face to face, I would repent and ask God to forgive your
gross misrepresentation of His heart, His Word and His agenda. The Word also
states it would better to hang a millstone around your neck and cast
yourself into the sea than to hurt one of his little ones. I have hurt many
of His little ones in my life but have recognized my error and asked His
precious blood to cover me and cleanse me. You should do the same for the
atrocities you are perpetrating on His children.

May the Lord help you get free of the deception you have fallen into.

Earl Stanley
Pastor
Congregation of the New Generation

Eat me.

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Wow. Andy Kaufman would be very proud. It all fooled me for longer than it should have! With tencommandments.org out there, I really wouldn't be all THAT surprised to see a site like this SOMEWHERE on the Internet!
PEACE

= )

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