Ask Pastor Jim
These are ordered from oldest to newest e-mails sent to Pastor Jim
Note: All E-Mails are 100% Authentic, so send one in and I will respond within a day or two!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/27/2006 05:06:08 +1000
From: Andrew \"biblical name\" <pocketdog@gmail.com>
The word is spelled MORON
Not MORAN...MOR-ON
other than that I\'d like to thank you for taking the time to call my attention
to the gayness of alf
otherwise I might be given gay by a television show that has been off the air
for like 20 years and isn\'t even being shown in reruns. Oh by the way seriously
though... You website is a joke, right?
I won\'t tell anyone. I really can\'t tell and I feel a little embarrassed. I\'m
pretty sure you\'re just making fun of bible thumping hateful assholes. It
couldn\'t be possible that anyone is really on a mission to destroy the
credibility of alf. But then again you obvously spent some time making this
page... I\'m confused so please get back to me and let me know. oh yeah and you
should also check out realultimatepower.net and let me know what you think I
think it you unique insight would be very valuable.
Thanks
Ninja's suck. That's why we have guns.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/27/2006 08:53:22 +1000
From: Michael Jackson <mjlikesithot@hotmail.co*>
Me likes the kidz page. It makes Michael happy.
Great!
=)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/27/2006 09:19:46 +1000
From: Julio Rodriguez <scubapro69@yahoo.com>
You people are compete and udder idiots. Proof from the \"S-A-T-E-L-L-I-T-E-S,\"
the machine that NASA built to orbit the \"ROUND\" earth. These photographs
were shot while orbiting the earth. This is proof you retarded, snake handling
goof balls.
God loves everyone.
\"Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world,
red, yellow, black, and white,
They are precious in his sight,
Jesus loved the little children of the world!!!!!
Now what part of this don\'t you understand? You are haters, people of satan and
you will have your day in hell.
You people are sick and twisted. You should not even call yourself God fearing
Americans. The government should designate you all an island to practice your
bullshit on. And then blow you all to the hell you came from.
To be a christian you must do as the good book says. Are you all illiterate?
Learn to read and comprehend what the bible says.
Oh, and are you an ordained minister or just a self taught ignorant faggot?
"God loves everyone.
\"Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world,
red, yellow, black, and white,
They are precious in his sight,
Jesus loved the little children of the world!!!!!"
That's not in the Bible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/27/2006 18:16:33 +1000
From: Tracy <Breakme@hotmail.com>
Alright, I was going to write some pretty hurtful words against you\'re religion
and what you stand for, but I decided not to.
All I want to say is my opinion, I have a right to state it all I want.
Now..about the dinosaur thing, i\'m sorry. But just like you asked, were you
there when the bible was made? no. So you can\'t use that against us anymore.
The only proof you have is the bible, and we have fossils.
The bible is completley made up by random fellowers, along with every other
religion. If you actually believe that god put only 2 people on this world to
multiply (Adam and Eve) so an EXAMPLE say they made a son and a daughter, to
make more children those two would have to produce. Which is called INCEST.
Which leads to many deformities to the brain and deseases, we would of
eventually died out right in the beginning.
Seriously, you should really re-consider what you believe in. It\'s all made up,
and religions are screwing up this world, including you\'res.
Incest was only against God's law until far later from the Creation. Check out Moses' writings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/27/2006 21:09:16 +1000
From: die mother fuckers lol <fuckthebible@hotmail.com>
i got a bible in my washroom i use it to wipe my ass, lol, u all gonna
die,,,,,,,
Nice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/28/2006 03:33:29 +1000
From: Kenny <holierthanye@gmail.com>
This site is genius. Its sad how many people don\'t get the point of this site. But at the same time, Christians don\'t normally respond well when presented with truth.
To true.
=)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/28/2006 05:03:57 +1000
From: Rae & J <setsunatoshi@cox.net>
You are a filthy FATHER-FUCKER that needs to be locked up. How could anyone be
this HATEFUL AND CLOSE-MINDED as this? You go against everything Jesus stood
for! Christianity is a LOVING religion! You are a fucktard who can\'t even
draw right! Be glad you don\'t know me, I would use my metal-chrome bar to wipe
that smile off your face before you could get on your hands and knees to pray to
your dear and fluffy lord!-Rae
How can you live with yourself?! You are a racial, rude ass, motherfucker! This
site should burn in hell!! You\'re not a true christian, I am a true christian,
I love everyone for who they are, no matter what religion, race, or status!! YOU
ARE A PATHETIC FUCKTARD! Who can\'t get it, Jesus said to love everyone, you
pethetic loser.
Get it right.-J
"Christianity is a LOVING religion! You are a fucktard"
And your anger and cussing proves it perfectly.
"I would use my metal-chrome bar to wipe that smile off your face"
Yep, that's Christian love.
"You are a racial, rude ass, motherfucker!"
"I am a true christian"
"I love everyone for who they are"
Could you be anymore hypocritical?
"YOU ARE A PATHETIC FUCKTARD! Who can\'t get it, Jesus said to love everyone, you pethetic loser. "
If He did then why aren't you doing it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/28/2006 05:17:22 +1000
From: Rae & J <setsunatoshi@cox.net>
Responce to the Earth is flat...http://www.planet-earth.org/images/bluemarble.jpg
It's a fake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/28/2006 06:07:51 +1000
From: rae <setsunatoshi@cox.net>
\
So, how much crack you been smokin\'?
None.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/28/2006 09:53:28 +1000
From: Tony <tensive@msn.com>
what are you trying to accomplish?
give me a reasonable answer.
For people to actually see what's in the Bible since no one seems to want to read the thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/28/2006 11:53:57 +1000
From: Mr. Athiest <notinterestedinbeingharrased@internet.net>
Wow, you really are off the deep end. This world is currently dealing with
Radical Islam and you basically espose a similiar \"God is all\" philosophy that
is destined to lead \"followers\" down a destryctive and violent path.
I have 2 children as well, and they will hopefully arrive at my Athiest
\"enlightenment\" after bring exposed to the myriad religions out there. A brain
with the IQ of 60 or better will arrive at such a conslusion. Even IF they didn\'t
I would love them all the same and not call them SATANIC followers just because
they followed a life philosophy that different from my own (assuming it ws not
destructive).
Yours is a troubling mind set for the human race.
PS) Athiest don\'t believe in God OR Satan. We do however believe on everything
that \"actually\" exists. Look up in the sky once in a while...
What the Hell is an "Athiest"?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/28/2006 21:30:07 +1000
From: Jerro <Shimbulakala@hotmail.com>
Hahaha I am an idiot, its so true. To think I consider myself an intellect, and
yet I could not see past the text written here! I now know what you\'re
saying!!! So good, so funny! You play the part well, and continue to wear the
fundamentalist mask in such great fashion that so many people take this website
seriously. I first thought you sick. You are so funny. Nice work, you are
stirring the masses! A truely brave attempt at revealing the pathetic state that
Christianity is in! I commend you on this effort, And how the Hell did you fidn
the time to look up all of these crazy quotes?
nice job buddy
Just read the Bible once and it's easy. Thanks for the comments!
=)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/29/2006 13:07:56 +1000
From: ryan <lewa210@comcast.net>
hello there i am a wiccan 14 yo and you know what my life is so nice.when i once
was catholic I lived in missery. my life sucked. i ask thee this why am i so
happy? is it \"satan\"? nay. tis true happiness for with \"satan\" only comes
despaire. and another thing if jesus is your role modol than \"wwjd?\" would
jesus kill the pagans? nay. would ye who is believed to be your \"savior\" stone
people? nay. jesus taught 3 things:
1forgivness
2peace
3love
these 3 lessons are practisted in every religion.
1 final thing: a quote from a wiccan \"If you leave the christian bible outside
in the wind the rain the dirt and fire it will deminsh to nothing. our bible is
the wind the rain the heat and the earth.\"
Hug a tree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/29/2006 14:17:29 +1000
From: Zach <Punkroc509@cox.net>
Seriously....stop it..your fucking idiots. Can you prove that god exists!? Dont
even feed me that its a matter of faith bullshit, just give me one hard fact
that cannot be explained in ANY other way BUT god!
"Can you prove that god exists!?"
Yes, it says so in the Bible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/29/2006 14:22:55 +1000
From: Seth <Rottigir@aol.com>
I suppose you have something against gays too dont you? well do you think it\'s
a choice? if it IS a choice, then tell me when you \"chose\" to be straight!
I bet you can\'t tell me..you know why? YOU NEVER DID!
The Bible says to kill them in Leviticus 20:13.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/29/2006 16:44:37 +1000
From: Love <laneka_angeleyes@msn.com>
I happened to come across this website completely by fluke,but being born again
christian I was captured by the name of the site and decided to check it out.
Personally, I dont think I am in any position to judge, but the way you go about
your \"ministry\" resembles nothing of Christ. God is Love. You seem to do
nothing but put people down and get pleasure out of ridiculing others. All I
have to say is check yourself...GOT IS NOT MOCKED!!!
"GOT IS NOT MOCKED!!!"
Who?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 00:22:28 +1000
From: God <info@God.com>
You are sick and your diseased must be wiped out soon for my children of earth
to be happy. This is your GOD, kill yourself and family before it’s to late. I
might let you into heaven if you hurry.
That's not God's e-mail address.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 01:45:18 +1000
From: Sean <archangel_lucifer8@hotmail.com>
Now...Before you go ahead and try to flame me calling me an aethist or a
hellsent or whatever insult you bible huggin weirdo can think of, hit yourself.
Hard.
And firm
Across the face
Twice perhaps.
Dinosaurs were fake really? They didn\'t exist?
Those bones were just made up and burried there to gain money to support the lie
right?
Get a clue.
No.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 01:49:15 +1000
From: Sean <archangel_lucifer8@hotmail.com>
Everything is perfect as God has planned. He is doing things how He wants to.
God is a sadistic asshole and His Love is to create pain, suffering, and death
in the world so He can get a hard-on.
That little line was pulled directly from your email bag...
Hm...So... Let me get this right, I wouldn\'t want to be wrong. You call us
aethists...And then trash talk your own god.
Could you be more of a hypocrite?
Could you be more of an idiot?
Don\'t answer, probbally yes.
Get a clue.
Get a clue.
"probbally yes."
Yes, you are an idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 01:53:31
+1000
From: Sean <archangel_lucifer8@hotmail.com>
\"Pastor Jim\"
Pastor huh?
I\'d like to see any legal information supporting that you are actually a pastor
and not just some insane nut locked up with computer access weekly, who is
probbally masterbating to all the pictures of jesus while he draws up-side-down
stars and circles on his forarms crying for Satan to take him to hell...
But that\'s just my theory.
Cheers
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 02:01:32 +1000
From: Sean <archangel_lucifer8@hotmail.com>
Alright, one last time... This is getting old.
Stop trying to claim you\'re some fourty-eight year old man with a wife and two
kids who is the pastor of a church.
You sit here creating your oddly disturbing website and insult people who e-mail
you.
Oh, by the way insult me all you want.
You just make yourself sound more like a hypocrite.
Oh and if not please hit me with one of those passive agressive responces
\"Okay.\"
\"Yep.\"
=)
Okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 02:56:21 +1000
From: Zach <Punkroc509@cox.net>
You\'re satan for being so closed minded, and if you say your are not, then you
would have contradicted yourself.
CID thats all you say.
Huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 02:59:42 +1000
From: Zach <Punkroc509@cox.net>
http://www.truechristian.com/kidzsamson.html
Were you being sarcastic in any part of that page?!
Also, if samson was a man of god, then how did he bang a prostitute?(Premaritial
sex) with out haveing is eyes gouged out..i believe thats how the story is told.
Magic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 06:20:17 +1000
From: Thomas <thomas_buster753@yahoo.com>
Your so gay athesiats arnt like that and you shouldnt try and make it look like
were bad and whats your profe that \"god\" exists??? and also if god made us who
made \"god\" tell me this and ill become a cristian again
Speak English.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 06:34:34 +1000
From: The all powerful Me <pntbal@hotmail.co*>
I must say, that\'s got to be the best satire I\'ve seen since reading \"A
Modest Proposal.\" You sir, deserve a cookie.
Is it chocolate chip?!
Yay!
^,..^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 07:00:20 +1000
From: Elisabeth Brady <lizzy_beth8301@yahoo.com>
I would just like to say that is refreshing to see someone out there portraying
a different side on Christianity. Personally, I don\'t agree with many of the
topics stated on the site, but I respect your opinion. I myself, am in fact, an
atheist. I was shown the site by a friend as a joke, but found it went so much
deeper. You state your opinions and thoughts on a varied amount of topics...and
then are subjected to \"hate mail\". I am sorry so many have missed your point
in this website and that so many have scorned you. I just simply wanted to
congratulate you on being a strong individual and posting subjects you knew were
controversial. You stood up against all these people, stood up for your beliefs
and I commend you.
I hope this email reaches you in good health and I wish your wife and children
the best of luck in the future. Everyone fights for what they believe in.
Sincerely,
Lizzy Brady
Thank you so very much!
=)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 11:02:46 +1000
From: Xadi <xadika@hotmail.com>
This is one of the most hateful websites I have ever stumbled across. One
of the main reasons why people stray from Christianity is because people like
you try to use fear to control them and the true fundamentals of the religion.
If you want people to understand your point of view, why not try a more
gentle approach? An approach without vulgar language, pornographic drawings,
and words meant to draw out the fear in simple folks? Do you share this website
with your church, I’m wondering? Mostly because although you’re trying to
“string out those who pick and choose what’s in the Bible”, while doing so
yourself.
Try to answer with somewhat of a decent attitude and not one sentence
retorts that have nothing to do with the e-mail at hand.
So I should lie and paint a false picture of Christianity to make things more appealing? Sorry, but what sounds 'appealing' is what Satan does, not what God does.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/30/2006 12:04:12 +1000
From: Heather <cleansweep@aol.co*>
You are hilarious.
You bet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Date: 8/31/2006 02:11:42 +1000
From: The all powerful Me <pntbal@hotmail.com>
I just read your number one favorite email chain... it\'s genius yet again! I
was wondering, can I borrow your \"cretin\" dictionary.com image? I\'ll host it
myself and put truechristian.com on it somewhere.
And yes, it was a chocolate chip cookie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
It doesn't say that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
Find a Bible verse that contradicts what I say. Try it. You wont be able to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
If it doesn't exist then who are you sending an e-mail to?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
I've been told that countless times but I'm really shy and mumble somewhat when I speak. I'm a horrible speaker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
Go yiff yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
Thank you very much!
=)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
I know a lot about them. I was considering doing a piece on them. What's your player name?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||||||
|
Fag.